Trust Issues (from the pulpit to the door)

 

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Trust ???

This is a topic that I believe we all go through.

Often times we can hear the term or phrase trust in two general way. Obviously it can be intertwined variously but the two general i will use are’

phrase # 1- Trust me

phrase # 2 Don’t trust them

 

Like I said there are many more ways to use this word.

 

Many of us are often affected by this word through actions of others. We make decisions based off of the term on a daily basis.

So my question is why is this word so damaging.

Well as you already know, I love to get meanings and definitions to assist.

Trust definition 

firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.

confidencebelieffaithcertaintyassuranceconvictioncredence;

reliance.
Most of us if not all of us have issues or problems with this word due to negative experiences in life. Trust is something that is built from the time that we are born. As babies we learn to trust. So trust is a learned trade. When a baby is born they are subjected to the care of the ones who take care of them and raise them. Or in what is called the caretaker, parent or guardian.
HMMMM
Care taker = a person employed to look after someone
Care = welfare, protection of someone or something, serious attention to someone or something to avoid damage or risk. providing needs.
Guardian = defender, keeper, protector.
I hope your following LOL
So what am i saying. We learn to trust as babies. We at first cry as babies when we want desire or need something. Than parents or the ones who pay attention tend to learn that various sounds or cries that are associated with what we are in need of. When this happens parents or guardians learn a pattern or schedule. This causes them (meaning the parents) to anticipate the needs of the one whose under their welfare or protection. Now when this happens the baby now knows unconsciously that the needs that they require will be met. I’ll use my own family to help illustrate or demonstrate. My wife and I do our best to make sure all of our children’s needs are met. We attempt to anticipate there needs. So with my son when it’s time for bed he has a pattern that let us know that he’s tired and ready to lay down. He has learned to trust us because we have built a trust system with him. So he does not cry for a cup or barely ask for a cup of milk at bedtime, because he knows that we will bring it when he has positioned himself.
When both our children were babies they would climb the bed or sofa or whatever else they could find to climb and if we were close enough they would just jump. The reason is that they knew or had complete assurance or a firm belief in our reliability to catch them. In other words they had no doubt or disbelief in our ability meet they needs.
If i can be in a babies head i figure they would say;
  •  I trust that you will not drop me
  •  I trust that you would change me
  •  I trust that you would feed me

To me this is one reason, I repeat 1 reason why when placed in unfamiliar hands they tend to cry and reach towards the one who cares for them. Usually parents or guardians.

Now there are cases where the child allows another to handle them assuming that the other one handling them will assume the same care.

Hold on…

Let me back track a moment. I earlier stated that the trust has to be built.  Let me clarify that I’m using trust to illustrate faith. Now we learned in my blog “Activate Your Faith” that we all have a measure of faith. So lets resume with as babes we start off with unconscious trust. Although trust is learnt there is a foundation that we are born with. Now lets continue….

In order for trust to be built on there must be a foundation.

What happens in life is that we actually lose trust.

I know i jumped some but just follow.

How do we lose trust ? How does that change or form into wavering belief ? Glad you asked.

This goes into a study and a teaching we did in our ministry which is also another one of our blogs called “Spiritual Warfare Battlefield of the Mind”. How so ?  All things that we deal with or not deal with as adults in some ways was shaped into us as children. Which is why whenever we go into a psychiatrist office they tend to ask questions about your childhood or upbringing. This is because may ideas, beliefs or disbelief are formed into us as children. Foe example we are taught at young that Santa Clause around christmas time brings or delivers presents to us and that we must ask of Kris Kringle for gifts or pray to him even. Than we find out as we get older that Santa Clause really does not exist. Lots of times the young adult gets devastated or crushed. This is also a form of paganism. Figured I just throw that out there. Interesting that we don’t realize that we are teaching our children faith in someone or something they cannot see. Also teaching our young ones to pray to other Gods. Hmmmmm…..

Also yet another example. We teach our children in play and fun that when they lose a tooth to pray or submit their request to the Tooth Fairy. With hopes that they will place a financial blessing under the pillow. Later on only to realize once again that to is false. So with the trust that we have early on in life is so loosely tampered with that it causes us to learn how to not trust the ones that are supposed to protect us and care for us and guard us. Thus our hearts are torn. Not solely because it wasn’t true but because the person we had faith in lied to us.

Another way we lose trust from our childhood eras is due to unclarified or unexplained disappointments. Examples. Like when we promise to go to a school event and we don’t show up. Maybe you had to stay at work an extra 20 minutes or got delayed in traffic or even got pulled over by the police. Consistent acts leads to the development of having faith or belief that the parent will show up. Especially without thorough explanation the child will not fully understand and rely only on repetitions of disappointments which lead to lack of trust. Over years we tend not to expect nothing less than failures in certain areas of our lives. This is where the enemy comes in at. He wants to enter himself into your life by manipulating various areas of your life concerning trust. Just to make it harder for you to have faith or belief in God and the salvation of Jesus Christ. If he can assist you in learning not to trust than he has done his job.

Now you have generally two types of people.

First Type;

The person who always desires friends and a partner. Even though they have experienced areas and levels of disappointments they still desire to have that special someone to confide in, someone who they can trust. This person still has hope in spite of everything they been through. This type calls type 2 lost and considers that they need deep healing

Second Type;

Those who have experienced loss the same as type 1, but instead of running towards people. This type of person shelters themselves from others to protect themselves from getting hurt. This person lost trust in people and pushes away from others especially when it feels like they are getting too close to someone. This type calls type 1 dumb and a glutton for punishment and they say that type 1 needs to be set free.

 

WHICH TYPE ARE YOU ???

 

Well truth be told both types need healing and deliverance. This is just two extremes. Two sides of the fence. We as people have all experienced different types of abandonment, and neglect and have some really great natural logical reasons to support why we have an issue with trusting people.

First off lets step away from trusting or placing our faith in what we know are lying words. This is what some of us do. One reason is that lying words usually come from lying lips, and lying lips we can catch right away sometimes but other times we do not know. This is because they sound great and convincing that they draw us into that web of deceit.

Hence the word of God says

Jeremiah 7:8 – Behold, ye trust in lying words, that cannot profit.

 

Why do we continue to listen to people that we know we should not. They talk a great game most of the time, but there is no profit or reward that spews out their mouths.

The truth is that we all carry this desire for us to connect our trust or faith to something or someone. We just have not gotten connected to the right source.

I tell you put your trust in God the father through our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. Why do I say this. I say this because God has a track record second to none. He is proven trustworthy. He’s tried and true. He’s not just a great story that was written by a great writer. But He God is real.

I know that I’m telling you to put your guard down after all the hurt and pain you felt from trusting others and it seemed to back fire or go disastrously wrong. You been placed in situation where your heart has been cut and torn. But I serve a God who is true to his word.

There are those of you reading this that has left the church because of failed trust. You put your trust and your heart into your leader and placed that person on a high standard. Than they did something that betrayed your ability to trust them. Well the Bible teaches not to put our total trust in man cause man will fail you every time. So I’m not asking you to trust me just try the God that I placed my trust in. When you put your trust in God it doe not matter what man does or try to do to you, because God will cause your heart to rejoice.

 

Now this it where I pause. We will continue this discussion in Part 2. But please leave a comment, or a question concerning this. I will answer all questions and respond to every comment.

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